Hey Y'all! Long time no see!! I thought I'd dust off this old space for a bit and get my typing fingers all warmed up by participating in the blog hop that my online Bible study is hosting! We are currently reading "Am I Messing Up My Kids" by Lysa TerKeurst!If you are a momma and you haven't asked yourself that very question I'd be surprised! I think most of us wonder if the way we conduct ourselves and interact with our kiddos on a daily basis is right or wrong. We have lots to compare ourselves to! I know I'm guilty of trying to add up to different blogs I read or friends I admire! Being a mom is sure tough!
I'm pretty new to this mom stuff too! I wanted to participate in this study to hopefully front load all the advice I can get on seeking out The Lord to guide me in making the best choices for my little one! My son is the precious age of 2. He's funny and innocent and so kind! I see so much of The Lord in him! But, he's also TWO! He's trying to learn his boundaries and "NO", of course, is one of his favorite words! On a few occasions now he has bitten myself or my husband or repeated less than desirable words or flat out disobeyed us! I experience A LOT of guilt and self doubt when it comes to disciplining him! I am just down right not sure what to do on many occasions! My husband listened to "The Resolution For Men" by Randy Alcorn on audio book and there was an entire section about spanking. It referenced The Bible and several verses and gave me the impression that I am not doing my job as a parent if I don't spank my child in order to avoid "spoiling" him. It really left me feeling confused! In my heart, hitting such an innocent and loving creature seems so wrong! I have never seen my boy act out of malice or mean spirit. The times he has bit were in the heat of a "rough housing" match and I feel the defiance is a curious action. Yet, at the same time I absolutely want to raise a respectful and obedient child who becomes someone that pleases The Lord! I don't ignore my son's displeasing behavior but at the same time I constantly wonder if my attempts at correcting and teaching him are enough OR too much! I can't help but wonder "Am I Messing Up My Kid" because I'm NOT spanking him - or "Am I Messing Up My Kid" if I DO spank him!
I know spanking is a hot button topic and I'm truly not looking to start a debate! I'm just looking for some loving guidance and to share my heart with you all! So here it is! Right on my
Until Then.....
Hi Jess, My kids are 15 and 13 and (while teens have their own challenges) I think, for me, it was hardest when they were 2! Not being sure of myself and my discipline choices led me to more prayer and I found God very faithful! "if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." (James 1:5) I would beware anyone who says their specific method of discipline is the ONLY way - you have to consider how God wired your child, and you have to consider each situation (are they being willfully defiant or just childish). But yes, be intentional, make a plan, and be consistent (so hard to do). I find focusonthefamily.com has very balanced advice on parenting. Keep your eyes on God and keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteJen, Thank you so much for the kind words and for the website recommendation! This study and all the kind women have really helped me to keep my focus on my individual child, his needs, and my individual abilities as a parent! What beautiful advice!
DeleteThat's such a hard age with discipline, Jess! Just remember that God chose YOU to be the imperfectly perfect mom for your little guy. You are exactly what he needs. I would encourage you to pray and ask God for guidance in this matter. I think all kids are so different and there isn't one way to raise them. We want them to be kind and respectful to others and above all to love Jesus. You sound like such an awesome mom and obviously loves that little one!
ReplyDeletePaige! Your words are so sweet and kind and full of truth! They were really eye opening for me! I appreciate you choosing my blog to read and comment on! It really means a lot! :)
DeleteI'm stopping by from the blog hop and enjoyed your post and your honesty. Discipline can be such a struggle! In a blink of an eye he'll be a tween/teen and then all you have to do is threaten to take away his xbox or cell phone. lol! Thanks for sharing! :)
ReplyDeleteCori! Isn't that SO true! These moments are truly fleeting with my little guy! Thank you so much for stopping by my blog and commenting! I love hearing from you!
DeleteHi Jess! I found your blog through the P31 linkup. I also have a rowdy little boy who will be 2 next week. He's starting to REALLY see how far he can push us, and spanking is always our last resort. But I think you have to do what works for you and your child and what you're comfortable with. And most importantly, pray for God to guide you during those difficult moments. I don't think there is ever one right way to do anything, because every child and parent is different.
ReplyDeleteI pray that you are blessed through this bible study! :)
Ashley, Thank you so much for your kind words and prayers for us! You definitely know what I'm going through - having a two year old of your own! I have already felt so much from participating in this study! A true sense of calm and appreciation is over taking me! I hope that you are enjoying the study just as much! Also, I am really glad you stopped by and shared with me! It meant a lot!
DeleteI firmly believe that consistency is key! I also believe that can happen in many different ways. I have seen spanking work for some families and not for others. As long as our children know they are not in charge, and that there are clear boundaries and consequences for crossing them...I think that is following Biblical instruction. I really, really do not like the idea of spanking....I wouldn't tell someone they shouldn't, and we have done it a couple of times...but I'd still much rather use other methods of discipline. So, I guess, my point is, you're not messing up your child either way, as long as you're loving and consistent! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing your experience with me! I am really learning to trust my gut and our individual needs by participating in this study and experiencing so much support from all the women! Your comments and guidance was truly taken to heart by me! Thank you for coming by!
DeleteHi Jess! So happy that you have joined us in this journey! :) Thank you for sharing your heart. I know that as we seek God and His Word together He will give us each wisdom and courage to be the best mothers He has called us to be and help us to make whatever hard decisions we are struggling with! Blessings! ~ Shelly (P31 OBS Team)
ReplyDeleteShelly! Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting on my blog! I have received so much blessing from being involved in this study! I am so grateful that you guys make this possible for us! :)
DeleteHello Jess! Loved your honest heart. Discipline became a topic of struggle when my daughter was 2 also. It's been a learning journey for sure as we faced the "to spank, or not to spank" dilemma. Praying God would guide your heart with both love and wisdom. -Katrina (P31OBS Team Member)
ReplyDeleteKatrina, thank you so much for your prayers for us! I have truly felt their presence in our lives! :)
DeleteOthers have written such great comments to you, and I agree that prayer is the #1 way to go. Lay it all before God and trust that he will answer you and give you guidance on this. I can tell from your post that you love your little guy so much and you want to do the best job you can to be his mama. I know that God will be faithful and will help you through this journey. I don't think it is black and white and what works for one family might not work for another. Trust yourself and the instincts that God has given you and ask for his guidance through prayer. I will be praying for you.
ReplyDeleteLacy, I am so grateful that you stopped by my blog and took the time to read my story. I can feel the power of your prayers working on us! Thank you also for seeing my heart and for helping me to remember that I know him best! Sending prayers your way! :)
DeleteJes. I have two children that are grown and two children in Elementary School.II am currently helping a friend who has a two year old and looking back through time and my experience I have learned that certain occasions have wanted a spanking and they were better off for ithowever it was only the last resort and therefore very rarely ever needed as they got bigger. I like to try to take what I call Jesus breakswhich allow me to stop where I am find something to be thankful for as I pray for the strength and fortitude to get through the current situation! prayer does lead to wisdom and God will guide you as long as your eyes are on him you can't go wrong! thank you for sharing!
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